Sarah Rees Brennan’s Perfect Day with Magnus Bane … In a Box

Listen, we are big Magnus Bane fans — he is the High Warlock of Brooklyn, after all. We’re not the only ones, Magnus has amassed quite the fanbase over the course of Cassandra Clare’s The Mortal Instruments series. So when it was announced that a group of authors would collaborate with Cassandra on The Bane Chronicles, a collection of novellas starring Magnus, we were thrilled! But we’re greedy, so we wanted more. We wanted to know what it would be like to spend the perfect day with him. Who better to ask than YA authoress and The Bane Chronicles contributor, Sarah Rees Brennan? Here’s what she had to say:

The thing is, I don’t really know why Magnus would want to spend a perfect day with me … not to put me down, I’m great, but Magnus has a lot going on what with being High Warlock of Brooklyn and everything.

Also, I’m not sure I want to spend a perfect day with Magnus. Don’t get me wrong — I love Magnus. What’s not to love? Snappy dresser, deeply kind but deeply sarcastic, saves little werewolf ladies and brings love and snark to sweet demonhunters, heart of gold beneath a shirt of Armani. But let’s face it, you go anywhere near a main character of action-filled fantasy novels, your life expectancy starts looking very dicey. Demon hedgehogs might fall out of the sky onto my head. I don’t know what could happen and I don’t want to find out.

I know, I know. Where’s my sense of adventure? I confess it freely: I fear the lurking demon hedgehog. I am a cowardy custard.

So I imagine the only way it would happen is if Magnus took a day off and got rascally drunk, and then kidnapped me.

SARAH: I don’t know you, guy. Release me.

SARAH: Also aren’t you taken? Why are we spending a perfect day together?

MAGNUS: Shhh. Shhh. In the box with you.

Then I would be in the dark, listening to a series of whooshes, and then … other sounds.

There would be the sound of rockets and bells.

SARAH: Is that Big Ben? What’s happening out there?

The sound of many happy purring cats and maracas.

The sound of jazz music, glasses clinking and one lone, incongruous, faraway cowbell.

The sound of the wind gently coursing through the trees … the sense of flying many feet above the air … and the sound of a goat, also high up in the air and very distressed about it.

SARAH: What’s going on out there? Why in the name of God would you involve a goat?

SARAH: Are we somewhere fancy? That sounds like a lot of cutlery. Is this a fancy house? Are you stealing the spoons?

MAGNUS: Hi ho, Silver! And away!

SARAH: Thank God you’re opening the box — no, you’re closing the box again.

SARAH: What did you just put in the box with me?

SARAH: Is this a policeman’s helmet?!

SARAH: LET ME OUT!

SARAH: LET ME OUT OF HERE!

SARAH: CAN’T … BREATHE …

There would be other sounds. Indescribable sounds.

Some time later, I imagine Magnus would sober up and let me out of the box. I would probably be extremely angry with him, and only forgive him once he showed me all the photos of our adventure together.

Then I’d show the photos proudly to my friends as proof of my exciting trip with a handsome warlock.

FRIENDS: You’re not in these photos.

SARAH: Uhhh, yes I am. Obviously, I’m in the box.

FRIENDS: …

SARAH: It was a perfect day. PERFECT.

Sarah Rees Brennan

Does anyone else want to see those photos? Slideshow, maybe? Spend a perfect day with Magnus by picking up a copy of The Bane Chronicles today! And for more advenutres in YA, visit our Everything Young Adult page.

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