Soul Mates and the Romance Author: Ann Aguirre on Love

Soul mates, such a weighted concept. Are we truly only allotted one love? Curious to see what others think, we turned to one of our favorite authors, Ann Aguirre, who’s gearing up to celebrate the release of The Shape of My Heart, the final installment in her New Adult 2B Trilogy, which is all about finding love. Here’s what she had to say:

Though the word “soul mate” is mentioned in the back cover copy for The Shape of My Heart, Courtney didn’t actually meet hers in high school, but she lost someone she loved very much and in college, she’s still recovering and dealing with that grief. Everyone processes differently, and it’s taken her a while to move on.

This is probably not a popular stance for a romance author, but … I don’t believe in the idea of a soul mate — of one perfect person who completes you forever. Because when you think about it, that’s incredibly depressing. What if your soul mate was born in 1934, and is about to die just as you’re getting started in life? That means according to romantic tradition, you’re doomed to live most of your life alone, even presuming you managed to meet this person and live happily with him or her for a few years.

In my opinion, you meet a lot of potentially worthwhile partners over the course of a lifetime, people who fit in different ways. Love isn’t magical, and relationships take hard work and communication to remain viable. You have to be willing to commit over and over to the same person, though you will come to natural points of divergence, where it would be easy to give and start fresh with someone else. Because you now have ten years of history, small resentments and important events forgotten. But you also have ten years of flowers for no reason, a hug when you most needed one and that special someone listening to you cry in the middle of the night.

That’s the charm of Max and Courtney’s story. Because they started as friends, it’s easier for me to believe that their solid foundation of affection slowly ripening into love could withstand any challenge. Ideally, love should come from a supportive partnership built on mutual trust.

Love is a choice. Love is risk. Marriage is saying, “I’ll always pick you,” time and again. And for me, that’s hotter than any soul mate chosen by the universe could ever be. Because free will is sexy as hell.

Ann Aguirre

Fall in love next Tuesday when The Shape of My Heart releases! For more new adult books, authors and buzz, visit our Everything Young Adult page.

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