All right, dearest readers. This week’s episode is pretty complicated with three plots running at once, one of which entails travel to an alternate dimension where all our favorite characters are themselves but not themselves. Confused yet? I shall try to make sense of it all for you …
Last week, Clary started a revolution.
We open in a forest, Clary and Jace are following Meliorn through the Seelie Glade. They discuss Clary’s portal necklace, and Meliorn reveals it’s from a portal to another dimension — which will help her find her father. Meliorn says Clary must go alone to this alternate world. He does some magic and — ta da! — the portal opens. In this alternate timeline, Shadowhunters and demons don’t exist and downworlders conform to human rules. Got it? Clary makes Meliorn promise that once she finds the door to where Valentine is, Jace can come in with her. Everyone agrees. IDK, you guys. I’m just the recapper. Even Clary hasn’t tried to steal my job this episode. Anyhoodle, Clary will take over Other-Dimension Clary’s body, but she has to make sure to remember who she is, or she could be consumed and never return. Got it? Okay, good!
Izzy, who’s back to wearing strapless, bickers with Alec. Lydia’s interrogating the guards who were attacked trying to take Meliorn to the Silent Brothers last episode. (This show is getting complicated.) The guard says he thought he was attacked by a Shadowhunter. Lydia is mad.
Luke and his werewolf buddy Aleric are chatting. Luke wants to go help Clary, but he’s needed by the wolves, too. Plus there’s that pesky thing about being wanted by the police, remember? Simon shows up to say hey. There’s a lot of growling. LOL. Luke tells Simon he can’t go home until he can control his impulses. While they’re out on a walk, the IA detective out for Luke finds them. Ruh roh. Simon attacks! Luke stops him before he kills the cop.
Clary gives Jace the cup, just in case. And off she goes into the portal! NuClary, as we shall call her, is wearing a supercute top. She’s making breakfast, and NuValentine walks into the kitchen! NuClary holds a knife to him and demands to know where her mother is. NuValentine laughs. NuJocelyn is there, too! They sit down to breakfast like a happy family. They all pause to watch a commercial of NuMagnus, who can help everyone find their way. We see NuHodge saying he opened a dojo because of NuMagnus, and NuLuke, a rare book store. NuClary realizes she needs to go see NuMagnus. Off she runs.
Lydia arrests Izzy for treason. Not good!
NuClary meets NuSimon, a nerdy NuIzzy and a flamboyant NuAlec at the breakfast truck. NuSimon gets coffee from NuJace. NuJace pulls NuClary aside to make out. NuClary’s into it. NuJace tells her he can’t wait for tonight, and NuClary thinks he’s talking about the party for NuValentine’s internet business that NuAlec is planning, but he just laughs. (I know, it’s all so much.) Maybe we should take a break and do some jumping jacks or something? Stimulate those brain cells?
Here, let’s look at Clary and Jace kissing.
Meliorn and Jace are waiting in the forest, and Meliorn says demons are attracted to the dimension Clary’s in. So that’s not good news.
NuClary’s with NuMagnus. Yay, NuMagnus! He’s giving her a tarot reading, but she tells him she’s a Shadowhunter and needs his help. Would it not be so fun to have your cards read by Magnus? He says his powers have gone dormant, so he makes himself some tea to kickstart it. She shows him her necklace, which conveniently came through to this dimension too. Magnus uses it to find the other portal — it’s in the basement of the Institute, where the party is tonight. NuClary tells NuMagnus to meet her there later.
Alec tries to talk some sense into Lydia. He offers to trade the cup for Izzy’s freedom. Except we know it’s gone — and now Alec does too. Alec goes to see Izzy. Izzy tells Alec Jace is on Seelie land, and Alec plans to use their parabatai bond to track him — even though it will weaken the bond, and the boys. Ruh roh.
Simon’s tied up the IA cop and is threatening him. Freeform suggests you tweet this scene using #DarkSimon. This makes me laugh. Simon wants to drain all this dude’s blood. Luke comes in, shoots Simon and saves the day, exonerating himself. Good plan, boys!
The party has a Mad Hatter theme because in this dimension NuValentine owns the Internet, with NuIzzy’s help. Sure! NuValentine and NuJocelyn dance, as NuClary watches. NuJace arrives and awkwards around NuValentine, it’s hilarious. NuClary and NuJace dance and make out. Everything gets very blurry as NuClary slips further into the wrong dimension.
Alec makes Hodge help him track Jace. He also takes off his shirt, which no one hates. He gets a new rune and writhes.
Back in the forest, demons attack. Then Jace starts writhing just like Alec, and a demon runs through the portal.
NuAlec lets NuMagnus into the party, because NuClary’s busy making out. NuSimon shows up and makes a bunch of vampire jokes. I laugh.
NuMagnus grabs NuClary, who’s like, wha? He shows her some magic holograms and she snaps back to non-reality. They run toward the basement as a mad NuJace follows.
Luke has won over the IA cop. That was easy! Alaric tells Simon the pack is indebted to him. Simon asks for mu shu pork for life. This is 100 percent something I would do. Dream big, dude!
Free mu shu for you!
NuJace storms downstairs to find NuClary and NuMagnus kinda holding hands. He dumps NuClary. But then the demon comes through the portal. (We’re not going to point out how NuMagnus hasn’t opened the basement portal to Valentine’s yet, and that if the demon took the forest portal, like Clary, he should have showed in NuJocelyn’s kitchen. No, no, no. Don’t you worry your pretty head about any of that.)
Jace finally wakes up in the forest. Meliorn lets Jace through the portal, and then closes it. Jace and Clary must find their way out through the other portal. Jace arrives just in time to get attacked by the demon, whom he and Clary manage to kill, but not before it bites Jace with its tail.
Alec and Lydia arrive at the forest portal, but it’s gone. SERVES YA RIGHT, JERKS!
Jace has been poisoned, but he insists on continuing the search for Valentine. NuMagnus finds the other portal and opens it. Jace tells him to destroy it after they go through to secure this dimension. Off they go!
Alec goes back to the Institute. He and Jace’s parabatai bond is weak. And Izzy’s going to trial. She is wearing a killer jumpsuit with over-the-knee boots, so she’s got that going for her.
Clary and Jace wind up at Valentine’s warehouse. Jace gives himself a rune to slow the poison, but he’s still not feeling great. There’s a banging in a closet. They open it — and find Jace’s father, who was supposed to be dead.
DUN DUN DUN! Only three episodes left, folks! You can find the rest of our recaps here, as we wait to find out what happens!